The lasting effects of Jewish youth groups? My usual rant but this time in print.

I just got back from a Bnei Akiva Olim shabbaton in Migdal Oz. As I sit here thawing out from the bitter cold, I am thinking about the effects Bnei Akiva (and NCSY, but lets leave that for another blog therapy session) had on my life. I spent four summers at Moshava which for me, as I put it, was a social disaster. Little did I know at age 10 that Jews were different everywhere, and that few even considered hanging out with that lone girl from Boston. No, we did not have a kosher Dunkin' Donuts in Boston, but somehow we managed to remain Jewish anyway. And Boston, contrary to the belief of some, is not in upstate New York. Yeah, that's right, for high school I stayed in the same school I had been in since I was four years old. And I didn't care less about people freaking out about not getting into Ramaz. Camp was a different world, and I'm relieved I came out of it in one piece. In fact considering my social situation there, it's amazing that I enjoyed camp enough to slowly but surely absorb the constant Zionist propaganda being sent my way. There is no doubt that the constant songs, plays, and divrei torah that were all centered on aliyah had an effect on my decision to move here. When I was 10 I chanted "We're gonna make aliyah!" because that's what everyone else was doing, but 13 years later here I am. So what now? On the shabbaton we were essentially used as a focus group for how Bnei Akiva Olami can continue their program with their participants after they make aliyah. "Bnei Akiva shouldn't be over when you step off the plane." Really? Is the idea of a garin aliyah a thing of the past? Bnei Akiva Olami's new goal is to prove it's not. I think I would appreciate it if Bnei Akiva provided more programming for their success stories like me. If Bnei Akiva is what made me do this, I would like to be around other people who were similarly influenced. It could be the same kind of events as Nefesh B'Nefesh, but it would be a different crowd, one I could relate to much different, and... I can only hope... maybe more of an aliyah event and less of a singles scene. Despite the social nightmare that was Moshava-IO, I do feel a connection to my former fellow campers. But not enough to go start a yishuv with them. What's the point of a Bnei Akiva yishuv anyway? Isn't like every yishuv in this country heavily influenced by Bnei Akiva? I'm thankful to Bnei Akiva for their brainwashing- I really am- but it's time for them to let go. I think a lot of us at the shabbaton felt the same way. They should be there when we need them, and we will need them, but we're going to make our own plans and have our own lives. As I said to a fellow co-counselor from Ennismore, I have no doubt that a significant amount of Toronto olim will wind up living in the same place. Bnei Akiva forged connections between many of us, and those connections did not at all disappear when we arrived here. It's too bad we couldn't get our points across. Idealism is great, but not when it stops being practical. I waited years for Bnei Akiva to return to Boston, and it only did so last year. What are their priorities? We're already here; now they can go brainwash more American children. Seriously. They shouldn't be so disappointed that the olim don't want to move out to a development town and change the world. We'll be okay. Some of us will even do amazing things. And for those of us who move to a yishuv, our kids one day will do Bnei Akiva too. Bnei Akiva is a youth group for a reason. Okay my rant is over now.