It was simpler when there were just snow days

A lot of people have asked me about the upcoming school year in general, and about my program in particular, so here it goes...

I thought I was in good shape when I applied for a school year after two years of strikes, one led by the students and the other led by tenured professors. This year the associate professors were threatening to strike, but I wasn't so worried about that effecting me. What the university students of Israel are currently faced with is far worth than any of those things.

A couple weeks ago a letter was sent out to the students (well, some students, apparently I'm not important enough) saying that due to issues with the Ministry of Finance the universities are not getting enough money, and are collectively refusing to open this year. Negotiations are currently underway. Classes are due to start in a week. A week after that, if no settlement has been reached, the universities are shutting their doors.

I can't imagine that happening. Then again, this country hasn't been known to take education seriously. Last year while university students waited for their professors to come back to work thousands of high school students in Jerusalem wandered around aimlessly waiting for their teachers to end their strike. As someone going into education, I try to let it inspire me to fight for change, but sometimes it can be downright discouraging. It's hard to do much when the program to qualify me can't even start. What's a country without its flagship universities? When the announcement was first made I started saying that it was destroying my Zionism. Maybe that's a bit harsh, but it will be hard being proud of a country that lets its universities close their doors. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I now have a better sense of what my program is, what I will enjoy about it, and the problems I have already had. Within the School of Social Work and Social Welfare there is a group of programs named of this guy Joseph Schwartz. I am in the Graduate Program for Early Childhood Studies. There is also one about non-profit organizations and a new program specializing in philanthropy. The general goal is to focus on the specific issues within these fields. My program combines classes from the School of Social Work and the School of Education.

Within my program, there are two tracks. It took me months to understand the differences between them. Even when I understood the words in the titles it wasn't clear, and no one seemed able to give me a clear answer. Here's the scoop: one focuses n development and one on administration. I am in the administration track. There are 9 people in my track and 20 in the other. Apparently there are people in my track who wanted to be in the other but even with the increased enrollment, they couldn't accommodate everyone. With just 9 people I wonder how many actually want to be there. I wish I was in the development track, though it might be my fault I'm not. I have a vague memory of which box I checked off on the application, but since I didn't hear anything since then I didn't think I was actually in a specific track. When I started the arduous task of signing up for classes, I saw some specified for each tracks but thought maybe this was something that happened in the second year. Then I got the news that I was in the administration track, and it should have been written on the acceptance letter I got months ago. However my letter came from the Department of Overseas Students and not directly from my program which writes in the track. So I had no idea.

Briefly, the development track trains students to work one on one as advisors to people working directly with young children. The administration one focuses on general, well, administration of organizations serving young children. I'm not what to think of, for lack of a better term, this mix up. My only concern is it seems like the other group gets more fieldwork, and one reason I chose the program was for it's combination of classtime and fieldwork. On the other hand, this means I can create my own fieldwork experiences. It even seems like I can get support from my professors if I sort of create my own project.

I'm strangely optimistic about my situation with the program. In either track I would enjoy some classes and detest others. And administration classes could be really useful for me considering I am terribly unqualified at many of the things they will in theory teach me. And as my brother put it, it could make me more marketable. I'm not worried that I will be denied a job because of which track of the program I was in.

In either case, school has to start for any of this to happen. I'm hopeful, but not holding my breath. As the title says, it was simpler when there were just snow days.

And I complain I have no friends in this country...

Yesterday afternoon I decided I was in desperate need of a nap. Harriet the Spy had woken me up every hour on the hour the night before, and I spent the morning at three playgrounds with an active 1 year old who enjoyed diving head first off of everything. I knew it would be a short nap because I was anxiously awaiting the return of my two roommates, due in throughout the following couple hours.

My phone rang. The caller ID read "Fischers." I thought "Cool, maybe the Fischers are inviting me for shabbat or to come over for a playdate." I answered the phone and heard a little voice say "Hi Rebecca!" It was Ruchama Fischer. She is seven years old. Actually maybe "little voice" isn't really a good description for a kid like Ruchama. Try "teenager with an attitude stuck in a little girl's body" kind of voice. We exchanged pleasantries and I waited for her to say something like "here's my mom," assuming that her mom wanted to call me but she asked to dial the number. I guessed incorrectly.

For the next 20 minutes or so Ruchama and I caught up on the last few weeks of our lives. We talked about our trips to the US, people we both know, and how we feel about brothers. After the 20 minutes I felt I had exhausted my list of things to discuss with a second grader, though it was obvious that she could have gone on forever.

Ruchama is a great kid, and a good sport especially when it comes to her little brothers. She knows that her four year old brother Raphi is my bestest friend, and is usually patient about sharing my time with him when I come to visit. In College Park when I would stop by she would answer the door and say "One second, I'll get Raphi." This was when Ruchama was 5 and Raphi was not even 2.

I guess she just needed someone to talk to, someone to listen to her complain about the stressful life of a seven year old. My favorite line was "I hate my brothers. I want a sister. All they do is beat me up, but I know Karate and they don't!"

Eventually I politely told her that I had to go, and we agreed that I will come for a shabbat as soon as I can. The phonecall totally made my day. There is no other way to say it.

"A friend in every port"

This phrase was said to me repeatedly throughout my trip to the US and the couple of weeks following it. It clearly started with my mom but has extended to siblings, friends, and even parents of friends. Okay, it's true, to some extent. I visited five major cities on my trip and had friends to see everywhere I went. In LA I had the luxury of leisurely meals to catch up and in Maryland it was a crazy series of 5-30 minute blocks of time... and I treasured every minute of them.

So I said to my brother, it's interesting that our grandmother keeps asking me whether our sister is making friends in her new home in DC when she never once expressed the same interest about my life in Israel. "You have a friend in every port. They never worry." Right. My sister is just as industrious as I am in situations like this. Before her move she contacted everyone she knew in DC, including good friends or nice people she met once and figured she'd wind up becoming better friends with upon arrival in DC. Or maybe they would know the kind of people she could be friends with. Whichever. While it's tough to start out anywhere, I am not about to worry. Besides, she gets to hang out with all of my best friends from college-- can't be that bad :-). (Hey, if I have to hang out with 30-year-olds she should have to hang out with 24-year-olds. It's only fair.)

I've written a lot about the challenge of making new friends and holding onto old friends. And I say that I feel a little guilty saying to a new friend in Israel who asks if I had fun in the US, "Well sure, I have so many friends there." "And what's it like being back?" Um, yeah.

It bothers me that I'm not as hopelessly optimistic as I used to be. And it's really too bad that so few people here realize that change. I returned to Israel thinking that okay, I was going to be alone in the apartment for three weeks so that already can't be fun, a lot of people are away, and in general it's going to be tough reconnecting with people. I didn't used to worry about such "trivial" things.

This past week has been so much fun. Not necessarily the hours spent filling garbage bags with clutter and unrecognizable food remains from the fridge. And thanks to a terribly anxious and upset cat I haven't had a good night's sleep since I returned. But besides that... There's been smoothie making, a lunchtime visit, a bar outing, catch playing, shabbat and yom tov meals, movie watching, and getting kicked out of a playground by the cops. There was also a quick playdate with Ben Zion who, though he hasn't seen me in awhile, had his face glued to his third floor window facing Keren HaYesod waiting for me to arrive. He had tears in his eyes when it was time for me to leave. Strangely most of those events (not the playdate) happened after 10pm. But all the better. I would spend a day moping around the apartment getting things done, be all ready to try to fall asleep, and suddenly I'd be wandering down Emek Refaim.

"You mean... you realize you have friends?" half-taunted a friend who just left my apartment. Well, YEAH. But I knew that. It's just the happy feeling that amidst my roommate-less loneliness and anxiety leading up to a grad school program that due to another strike might not start on time, I'm having a good time.

Am I happy? To be continued at the next 1am playground outing. Don't you hate when other people might be right? You just want to kick them. Or hug them. Whatever.

Except when they aren't right. Is there really a formula for why someone is your friend and how someone remains your friend? Can I scientifically look at the friends I made in the past twenty four years and figure out how and why in another twenty four years I'll be as close to them as I am now? It's not like I keep their business cards in my wallet. They aren't even all on facebook.

My whirlwind trips around the US are like a rollercoaster. It's a thrill ride. Every moment is exciting. I never know who I'll run into or what incredible conversation I'll have. The wild twists and turns can also be scary and gut wrenching. It's tough saying goodbye, and realizing that I have absolutely no idea when I'll see the person next. But rollercoasters are still fun. You keep going and going until it makes you sick. It's just a wonderful kind of sick. Does that metaphor work? I love the running around, even when it makes me sad. And will I go back to College Park after all my friends have graduated? For sure! Do you have any idea how soft the grass on the mall is? I could sit there all day.

I have this conversation all the time with people here about friendships. And I've realized that everyone had a different past when it comes to friends. Not everyone has a friend who lived down the street who they played with every single shabbat afternoon their entire life and after being away for six months can within seconds renew the same friendship. Not everyone has groups of friends who came over multiple times a week in college for movie nights, or piled into a living room for the newest episode of the OC. The basis of a friendship has nothing to do with how long it's going to last. Things happen. And it happens differently for each person.

So time to ditch that conversation and look ahead when I find myself in a park at 1am... whether it be with a new friend here in Israel or an old one at a park in the US. I'll happily enjoy the moment wherever it is. And it's all about what's going to make me happy...