It is like being at camp for a long, long time. And there's no visiting day every two weeks. No homemade cookies and care packages from home. Some days are exciting and fun while other days just make you want to run into the woods and hide... except there was always poison ivy, so that's not too fun. Supposedly people who, unlike me, weren't the lone Bostonian in an oppressive New York environment like Moshava made zillions of friends they would wait all year to see again. Though my guess is they didn't really realize what great friendships they had until they had been home for a few weeks, and when they would return the following summer I think sometimes they'd subconsciously realize that maybe ten months of distance was a good thing.
Living here is a much more positive camp experience for me. I have friends, though I have even better friends in the US. Every day when I get home I rush to my laptop to see what's going on with them and tell them the latest news in my life. Thank goodness for email and immediate communication. I don't know what I would do without it.
This is all, of course, entirely different. I am the family member anxiously wondering what's going on back home. And I'm the one who's going to visit in a few weeks and just by being there be worth so much more than a care package on visiting day. I will have a brief three weeks to do the most that I can to help keep things even the slightest bit under control.
Then there's the life I'll be leaving here while I'm away. Who am I going to miss? What am I going to miss? How anxious will I be to get back? Going back home will also mean leaving home. This is my main life now. It's not just a ten month stretch between summers. When I see my friends at Maryland will I be full of stories from Israel or will I dive back into their world and my life with them?
The next few months will be interesting. I've been here for six months, and in five weeks I am leaving for three weeks in the US. About ten weeks after that I will be returning again to the US for the summer so I can make money and, you know, afford to live. I have to no doubt that it will be both physically and emotionally stressful to bounce back and forth like that. I just really wonder what I'm going to miss, in so many ways and for so many different reasons.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I've been here for 6 months? No way.
Last night, in honor of Purim Katan and my 6 month aliyah anniversary, I co-hosted a party. Okay, lets all just digest that for a moment. I helped organized an event with lots of people in my apartment. Doesn't make sense to me either. Nothing too crazy happened. Except for the guy who asked when we were going to my room. And made comments about putting on his pants. And invited me to come over and get drunk and go home the next morning. Oh wait, those were all from the same person. (I said I wouldn't write incriminating things on facebook, not my blog.) I did enjoy myself, and not just at the breakaway party in my room. I'm not allowed to talk about that anyway. I'm always up for an excuse to wear my cape. Whacking people with my sword is fun too.
So while I had my usual party frustration of not being able to have real conversations with people I already only see once every three weeks or so, it was good noticing that I had actually become friends with most of the people in the room and actually felt at a loss for not getting to talk to them. It's a weird way of looking at things.
It was interesting to hear people's greetings about my 6 month aliyah anniversary. I got a few excited "HAPPY ALIYANNIVERSARY!" type of greetings, and then the somewhat more appreciated greetings of "I would say happy anniversary, but you know, we still all wonder what the hell we're really doing here." Along those lines, I was asked where I would be if I wasn't in Israel. My first thought is Georgetown or Silver Spring. I don't know how I would have ever afforded to live there (or anywhere for that matter), but I could have pretended I never really graduated college and not had to make new friends. Then I realized how weird it felt saying this to people who had recently become my friends. I will never have the same sort of "social happiness" I was extremely privileged to in college. I doubt I will meet too many people here who call me their BFF five minutes after meeting me. Then there's this weird feeling that when I become friends with someone here, it's like I'm indirectly replacing a friend back in the US who I might not see again for a long time.
Six months after boarding a plane that would take me to a whole new life, I still have really mixed feelings about this whole thing. I never for a second doubt my decision. There is no way I could ever ever ever doubt a dream I had for nearly ten years and then successfully fulfilled. So if any of you, anywhere, were wondering-- I don't regret a thing. And am I happy here? Depends. Ask me in five minutes and I might have a different answer. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe the most important thing I've learned in six months is to disregard anything anyone tells me about living in Israel and think things over for myself.
Thank you to everyone who came to celebrate with us last night. It was awesome.
So while I had my usual party frustration of not being able to have real conversations with people I already only see once every three weeks or so, it was good noticing that I had actually become friends with most of the people in the room and actually felt at a loss for not getting to talk to them. It's a weird way of looking at things.
It was interesting to hear people's greetings about my 6 month aliyah anniversary. I got a few excited "HAPPY ALIYANNIVERSARY!" type of greetings, and then the somewhat more appreciated greetings of "I would say happy anniversary, but you know, we still all wonder what the hell we're really doing here." Along those lines, I was asked where I would be if I wasn't in Israel. My first thought is Georgetown or Silver Spring. I don't know how I would have ever afforded to live there (or anywhere for that matter), but I could have pretended I never really graduated college and not had to make new friends. Then I realized how weird it felt saying this to people who had recently become my friends. I will never have the same sort of "social happiness" I was extremely privileged to in college. I doubt I will meet too many people here who call me their BFF five minutes after meeting me. Then there's this weird feeling that when I become friends with someone here, it's like I'm indirectly replacing a friend back in the US who I might not see again for a long time.
Six months after boarding a plane that would take me to a whole new life, I still have really mixed feelings about this whole thing. I never for a second doubt my decision. There is no way I could ever ever ever doubt a dream I had for nearly ten years and then successfully fulfilled. So if any of you, anywhere, were wondering-- I don't regret a thing. And am I happy here? Depends. Ask me in five minutes and I might have a different answer. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe the most important thing I've learned in six months is to disregard anything anyone tells me about living in Israel and think things over for myself.
Thank you to everyone who came to celebrate with us last night. It was awesome.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
"a special blog post"
Certain parts of this entry might refer to actual events more than others. Here it goes...
My entire plan for this week has been a complete failure, both the parts of it outlined two blog entries before this one and in the famed email to Shira that will not be published for public viewing.
Tonight I was at a party, again. I suppose it wasn't so bad, but when I was finally ready to leave I of course had to be intercepted by the creepiest and most annoying guy there. Way to end my unsuccessful week of avoiding social events. This young man (young... it's all relative in Katamon), who shall remain anonymous, like for similar situations I reflect on in this blog, just went on and on. Who really cares that his car got dented. Hm, can't really remember anything else he said. I guess I spaced out after that.
And then I came home. The end.
But I have to share with everyone that I am making the coolest cake ever for Sam's fourth aliyah anniversary party. This is what it looks like at the moment.
Doesn't it look like a giant chocolate hamburger sandwich?
My entire plan for this week has been a complete failure, both the parts of it outlined two blog entries before this one and in the famed email to Shira that will not be published for public viewing.
Tonight I was at a party, again. I suppose it wasn't so bad, but when I was finally ready to leave I of course had to be intercepted by the creepiest and most annoying guy there. Way to end my unsuccessful week of avoiding social events. This young man (young... it's all relative in Katamon), who shall remain anonymous, like for similar situations I reflect on in this blog, just went on and on. Who really cares that his car got dented. Hm, can't really remember anything else he said. I guess I spaced out after that.
And then I came home. The end.
But I have to share with everyone that I am making the coolest cake ever for Sam's fourth aliyah anniversary party. This is what it looks like at the moment.
Doesn't it look like a giant chocolate hamburger sandwich?
Saturday, February 2, 2008
For this I'll stay in Israel
(when Pesha told Ruchama I was coming for shabbat)
"Why did you wait so long to tell me??? I need time to get excited!"
Pesha: Rebecca is coming for shabbat.
Raphi: Oh... I want Maryland Rebecca to come.
Pesha: Maryland Rebecca IS coming for shabbat- she lives in Yerushalayim now!
Raphi: Oh! Yay!
(when Raphi opened the door for me)
"It's Becca! I knew it! I knew it was Becca! Becca is here!"
me: Raphi, you got so big!
Raphi (in a "taunting" voice and dancing around the room): I got so big! I got so big!
me: Raphi, where do I live?
Raphi: Maryland.
me: I used to live in Maryland. Where do I live now?
Raphi: um... YERUSHALAYIM!!!!!!
Friday, February 1, 2008
The Scene That is Not My Scene
I went to maybe five Hillel events in my entire four years at the University of Maryland. I can't think of any parties I went to besides engagement parties. I went to a bar three times-- once for my 21st birthday, and the two other times for the 21st birthdays of two friends. I never even went to Terp Zone, the arcade/bowling alley place in the student center. My social events consisted on gatherings to watch "The OC," occasional trips to Kemp Mill for pizza, movie nights (of course), and senior year close to twenty basketball games. But I'm not sure where yelling obscenities at the other team with thousands of fellow students falls within the realm of "social events."
In any case, I've come to the realization that my new life here, for better or worse, has been completely different. More details of these reflections can be found in emails to Shira and a few AIM conversations which, clearly, no one else will get to read. And yes, that's "the good" stuff as it were. But here's what I do want to share in this blog. I've been to several Nefesh B'Nefesh kiddushes and other events, attended shiurim more to socialize than for the Torah, and... I went to a party? Where people were dancing and getting drunk? Yes, apparently I did. And I enjoyed myself, more or less. So last night I didn't really surprise myself when at 10pm, after enjoying a play with a couple friends, I agreed to check out a party taking place at a sketchy club in the backstreets of Talpiot. Okay, all clubs are sketchy to me. But this place was dark and smokey and like 100 degrees. Should have been a nice change from my frigid apartment, but not really. I and the other friend who was there as a tag-along lasted all of five minutes. Instead we got ice cream and went home. Ice cream stores in small groups-- now THAT'S my scene.
So besides so many other things I'm thinking about (wow, that was one long email to Shira) I'm thinking that after my exciting shabbat playdate with Raphi, and watching the Superbowl (which might take place in some larger-than-I'd-like social gathering) that I just won't go to these events are parties anymore. It will probably force me to actually make real concrete plans with the friends I've made here. No more two minute conversations with random people. And no more overwhelming large social gatherings. We'll see how it goes. Definitely no clubs or parties for awhile.
In any case, I've come to the realization that my new life here, for better or worse, has been completely different. More details of these reflections can be found in emails to Shira and a few AIM conversations which, clearly, no one else will get to read. And yes, that's "the good" stuff as it were. But here's what I do want to share in this blog. I've been to several Nefesh B'Nefesh kiddushes and other events, attended shiurim more to socialize than for the Torah, and... I went to a party? Where people were dancing and getting drunk? Yes, apparently I did. And I enjoyed myself, more or less. So last night I didn't really surprise myself when at 10pm, after enjoying a play with a couple friends, I agreed to check out a party taking place at a sketchy club in the backstreets of Talpiot. Okay, all clubs are sketchy to me. But this place was dark and smokey and like 100 degrees. Should have been a nice change from my frigid apartment, but not really. I and the other friend who was there as a tag-along lasted all of five minutes. Instead we got ice cream and went home. Ice cream stores in small groups-- now THAT'S my scene.
So besides so many other things I'm thinking about (wow, that was one long email to Shira) I'm thinking that after my exciting shabbat playdate with Raphi, and watching the Superbowl (which might take place in some larger-than-I'd-like social gathering) that I just won't go to these events are parties anymore. It will probably force me to actually make real concrete plans with the friends I've made here. No more two minute conversations with random people. And no more overwhelming large social gatherings. We'll see how it goes. Definitely no clubs or parties for awhile.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
The City of Gold and White
A double snow day in Jerusalem? Who would have thought. Not that it took much. I was unaware of this, but school for today (Thursday) had already been canceled as of Wednesday night. The municipality realized that it simply was not equipped to deal with the quickly melting slush. Everything was closed, and buses weren't running... not that you could find out that useful piece of information from the Egged website. This morning I looked outside and saw snow and checked to see that ulpan had been canceled. A few hours later Alissa and I bundled up in four or five layers ready to finally escape from being cooped up in our unbearably cold apartment only to go outside into the bright sun and almost clear sidewalks. And yet... it was a snow day. It was absolutely gorgeous outside today! The restaurants on Emek Refaim were all packed with customers. I was worried that there wouldn't be any snow left for my scheduled snowball fight this afternoon. Yes, I made a facebook event for a snowball fight. For some STRANGE reason I had much difficulty finding people to go outside and play with. So much so that I had to trudge through the snow/rain/sleet/hail (all of which happened in the span of twenty minutes) to Katamon only to have to go INSIDE to throw a snowball at someone. The things I do to make sure I have fun. Thanks to Lisa, Alissa, Efrat, and Rachel who joined me for a fabulous snowball fight in Gan HaPa'amon... and for the random little Israeli kids who joined us. And to their father who had no problem with me throwing snowballs at his children, and even took a picture for us.
I can't believe I was playing in the snow just five weeks after walking barefoot on the beach.
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