9 Av 5768

Last year I had a lot of trouble "getting in the spirit of Tisha B'Av." I was about three weeks shy of making aliyah and was caught up in the wonders of "v'shavu banim" and "reishit smichat geuloteinu." I was thinking about it these past couple of days leading up to Tisha B'Av this year and I realized something that seemed a bit silly at first. As much as Bnei Akiva and Camp Moshava brainwashed me into making aliyah, they also did a sort of "Tisha B'Av brainwashing."

For the first five Tisha B'Av days for which I was old enough to at least semi-grasp the significance of the day (ages 10-14) I was on a Jewish program, the first four years being my summers at Moshava. For the weeks leading up to Tisha B'Av all we would hear about is senseless hatred and the other horrible sins that led to the destructions of both Temples, the trauma of losing the Temples, and all the terrible things that followed. At the same time they would work in the words "make aliyah" to everything from dancing on shabbat to art projects to long hikes. Don't ask me how they did it, but they did, and apparently it worked.

So for four summers I got these mixed messages: Everything was destroyed and it hasn't been the same since and we enact this suffering by eating eggs dipped in ashes (no one seems to do this in Newton, MA) and sitting on upside down benches for davenning. However despite these feelings of lost, we need to sing and dance and shout "make aliyah!" over and over because redemption is coming and each and every one of us is going to join the Jewish people in Israel, right now, or the second camp is over, or after graduating from college when you realize that even ten years later the brainwashing has still stuck. (The first letter of my Nefesh B'Nefesh essay? "I've been brainwashed.")

I guess it is no surprise then that once again this year, now that I am coming up on a year since aliyah, I feel the same challenge of feeling depressed on this day when every other day I work so hard to see the beauty and accomplishments of this country. I joked to my roommate that for the nine days what I really should avoid instead of the usual lashon hara (as was instructed to me at camp) was saying anything bad about Israel. The spies did it and didn't do any good for them, but it's just... so hard! There is so much to complain about! And on the other hand, I feel that there is so much to celebrate about the country in general and my life here. It's still like that first post-Jewish program Tisha B'Av when midday, as the hunger set in, I thought to myself, "Okay, so now what?" I still have about three more hours of the fast so maybe I will achieve some sort of understanding for what's missing here. It amazes me every year how, for lack of a better word, helpful the kinot are generations after they were written.

One more thing that's on my mind last week... August 6th/ 14 Av mark ten years since my Papa Harold passed away. He died while I was away for my final summer of Moshava. Those of you who have known me for awhile know that that event positively turned my life upside down and nothing as been the same since. It is hard to think about everything that has happened between that summer (the final summer of Bnei Akiva brainwashing) and this summer, my first as an Israeli citizen. My grandfather was a quiet person. He loyally picked me and my siblings up from school every Friday and attended every school play and Karate presentation. They were usually followed by a smile and quick hug and kiss. Words weren't necessary. He was always quietly rooting for me. Every summer I would leave camp with it set in my mind that I would one day make aliyah. I'm sure I shared these thoughts with Papa Harold at some point and he probably smiled quietly and offered to make me chocolate milk. Silly brainwashing.

So many things I should have never seen at the Jerusalem pool

As part of my snazzy summer job babysitting for a 4 year old girl whose family was here for the summer I got to spend several mornings at the Jerusalem pool on Emek Refaim. I always knew this pool existed, but until I saw it, I never imagined how huge and nice it could be. The facilities are amazingly clean, there is a nice grassy area, and plenty of comfortable plastic lounge chairs. Especially considering the entry fee, it is the closest Jerusalem might ever get to a country club. There were, however, many horribly disconcerning things I witnessed throughout the past five weeks ranging from pool safety (or lack there of), poor parenting, and... well, you'll see. Or lucky for you you will not have to see, just read.

1) The lifeguards are generally not anywhere near where the kids are playing. They are either chatting with their friends, smoking, eating popsicles, or yelling totally inaudible instructions into a megaphone.
2) Parents don't seem to actually care about their children's safety.
3) There should not be smoking at a pool like this. Ever. Especially next to the toddler pool.
4) I understand people interpret bathing suit fashions differently but bikinis should not be made for anyone too young to fill them out and those who fill them out a bit too much should perhaps make a different choice.
5) Guys have it easy. It's like buying a pair of shorts. So why did so many guys have bathing suits barely staying on their hips?
6) You do not have to wear underwear or boxers under a bathing suit. It sort of defeats the purpose. I'm just confused.
7) Okay, maybe it was a bit funny watching the teenage girls try to figure out how low down they could wear their bathing suits though not so practical to make these adjustments while on their way to riding down the waterslide.
8) What was the parent thinking while waching their child pull down his bathing suit and urinate directly into the pool? Thank goodness for chlorine.
9) The changing room reminded me of my first experience in the Filene's Basement fitting room... but it was so much worse. I just don't understand how anyone can feel comfortable wandering around naked like that. Didn't they go to sleep away camp and learn all the tricks?
10) An old man changed out of his bathing suit right next to the pool. Yes, that's right, he wasn't even in a changing room. Just right there by the pool, in front of everyone. I don't get it.

I'm so grateful that I was with such a well-behaved four year old girl who spent hours streaking naked through her apartment but at the pool usually chose a changing room or bathroom stall to get in and out of her bathing suit (and made very audible comments about all the naked old ladies).

Btw, I would have taken a picture but hate to think what I would have caught in the background.

In other news, there's a group of guys on my street singing very loudly. Considering it's Av I can't imagine what it's all about but... oh Jerusalem, gotta love it.

banks

My friend Mia made aliyah this week. It was incredibly exciting for so many reasons... having a good friend in the country, getting to pinch Mia's cheeks. But what really made me happy was when she changed her facebook status to "Mia hates banks." Oh, new olim and the challenges they will encounter!

a dialogue on the Katamon social scene and life in general

This post is back after a brief hiatus. I'll deal with the consequences :-)

The other person's screenname has been changed for their protection and to, as I put it, "prevent scaring off the ladies." The name "fwb" has been used because it just seemed appropriate.

7:12
Beqx
i was about to make fun of you about something from before but i decided not to
though it would have been a general commentary on the katamon scene so maybe i can just reword it, hm
7:13
FWB
i've stopped going to the tuesday night shiur, u should be impressed with me
7:14
Beqx
im so proud of you!!
dated/lost interest in all the girls there, i understand
oops the comment came out anyway
just not in the context about the nbn seudat shlishit being to celebrate the "new crop"
but anyway..
7:15
FWB
i never liked the shiur anyways. and it's getting less popular and i never had much success
i have to keep my eyes open
the new crop is always the best hope

Beqx
sigh, new crop...
i hope theyre all under 30
7:24
FWB
well, when you see a girl for me, let me know
even you being antisocial is probably more social than me
7:24
Beqx
will do
hey i need to meet more girls
its impossible to make female friends
no girls want to talk to other girls
its ridiculous
guys just play basketball and poker
girls are awkward
7:25
FWB
and no girl will go over to talk to a gy
guy
i don't play poker. but basketball is correct
7:25
Beqx
that lasts like a week and then all the girls realize how dorky the guys in katamon are
7:25
FWB
but we're nice guys
7:26
Beqx
nice.. awkward.. dorks... i never said its a bad thing
its just the reality of katamon social events
7:26
FWB
i always freely admit I'm a complete idiot

7:30
Beqx
this conversation is making me want to be antisocial again maybe on shabbat i'll just hide in my room and play with my trains
7:30
FWB
i'm getting depressed myself
but u antisocial is still quite social
7:30
Beqx
but new crop! get excited!
7:30
FWB
eh, won;t be different from any other
see, I'm jaded
7:31
Beqx
you havent been here for that long
so sad
7:31
FWB
true
7:31
Beqx
i was jaded five minutes after getting here
7:31
FWB
also true

7:35
FWB
i want to stop aging
7:36
Beqx
maybe shira and i can come up with a potion
like our other potions
7:36
FWB
we could use a good mid-twenties crisis
7:37
Beqx
i think i had one- it was called making aliyah
and im still early 20s
7:37
FWB
i was trying to take an average of us
7:37
Beqx
hhhmm
what would a mid-20s crisis entail?
7:37
FWB
still trying to figure that out
what do teenagers do these days?
7:38
Beqx
uuummm
pretend to be 20?
i think they make up relationship crises and overdramatize everyhing in their lives.... oh wait, sounds like katamon
7:39
FWB
u need to get over katamon or go live in a hut
an igloo will also work
7:39
Beqx
oohh then i could have snow
Beqx
maybe teenagers do fun things like squirt ketchup at cars from bridges
im just thinking bart simpson here
7:41
FWB
do a prank phonecall.
ask for Amanda. Amanda huginkiss

FWB
what's the options then?
7:46
Beqx
flicking things at the backs of peoples heads at NBN seudat shlishits?
7:48
FWB
options what to do as we grow older
7:49
Beqx
that sounds like something that needs a list. but shira isnt here so i have no one to make lists with
you dont think we should flick things at people?
7:50
FWB
too unrealistic
on that note, i'm off to do some shabbos
good to talk. be my girl-lookout pleae
later

When your world shrinks very fast

I just came home from a wedding on Har Tzofim. The chuppah had a stunning view of the entire city. The bride was my friend Ruti who was briefly in ulpan with me, I ran into her once on the street, and she invited me to her wedding. In ten days I'm going to the wedding of the girl who sat in front of me on my aliyah flight. I've only seen her twice (briefly each time) since then. And she invited me to her wedding. Such is life in Israel.

Ruti's chatan gave a lengthy speech in which he seemed to personally thank each person in the room. There is one person he mentioned who was not at the wedding. Batsheva Unterman was killed in yesterday's attack in town leaving her husband and six month old child behind. When I got home from the wedding I saw a sign on my street announcing that the location of the shiva is the building right next to mine. It makes sense-- Batsheva and her family would often host Dov, Ruti's husband, for shabbatot so that he could be near Ruti who was living around the corner.

Yesterday probably around the time of the attack I was waiting at the 13 bus stop at the end of my street with Tamar, the kid I am taking care of for the summer. When we got to the bus stop we had barely missed a bus and while we waited two buses passed in the other direction. I don't know if one of those buses is that one that was smashed into, or maybe it was the bus right before it. But maybe. The timing was about right.

The wedding tonight was very small with a collection of family and various friends from different parts of Dov and Ruti's lives. And there were a lot of kids there. It's hard to imagine that one of the guests was supposed to be Batsheva and that one of the kids who should have been there tonight is now without a mother.

Update on my life

Starting a few weeks before Pesach and up until a week ago I had the absolute joy of spending three afternoons a week (at least on the days I wasn't sick or unable to move because of my back) with this incredible adorable little guy, Noah. Playing with Noah brought back great memories of Raphi at that age. We went to the playground and hung around the apartment being silly. Once I got to bring him and his girlfriend (kids these days start young) Eliana to the playground together. Hopefully I'll see Noah in LA in September. Such a treat getting to play with him. This is a picture of him excitingly greeting his friends at his good-bye party.
I finished ulpan. That's right, I made it to the end. It's crazy that with ulpan finishing I'm more or less "done" with the beginning steps of making aliyah. I'm still convinced I have another ten years until my klitah is complete. I'm happy to say I learned a lot and made some good friends. It was comforting being around other people in the same position as me and being taught by teachers who really cared about us. For most of my time there I didn't feel that much of a connection to the place but I think over the next few months I'll really appreciate my time there and the friends I made.

This was taken at the Birthright Mega Event in Latrun. I was there with the Gift of Life Foundation to get more people in the bone marrow donor registry. American college students are so awesome. There were thousands of people there mostly from the US but also from France, Brazil, and India. I met some fellow Bostonians and fellow Terps. It was like a huge summer rock concert. It's great seeing so many people so incredibly excited about being in Israel.

Over the next few weeks I get to hang out with a slew of friends visiting from high school and college who will be visiting the country. Can't express how happy I'll be to hang out with them again. Really, really excited about that.

Also have a decent amount of babysitting jobs lined up. I have a short one in a couple weeks and then a six week full time job beginning at the end of June. It will be the first time I will be out of the apartment all day every day. It will also be the earliest I've had to wake up on a daily basis, and really the first time I'll have something in the morning I actually have to come on time to. Should be interesting. The job is for a four year old girl so hopefully I can be paid to do things like go to the zoo.

After that... I'm planning a month-long trip back to the US that will go through Rosh Hashanah. I haven't been in Newton for RH in a few years now. When I get back I'll have a few weeks (mostly taken up by Succot) until I begin a Masters in Education program at Hebrew University. So far I got accepted to the special education program and I'm waiting to hear from the Early Childhood Studies program. I'm hoping that between the Har Tsofim area and central Jerusalem I'll be able to find a sufficient amount of work for when I'm not in class (or trying to understand the material in Hebrew).

I guess I haven't been writing in my blog much lately because I've grown less cynical and more optimistic about my life here. Not to worry-- I still have plenty about the Katamon social scene, but I'm also becoming more accepting of it. In general with work for the summer and school set for the Fall (didn't expect to hear from Hebrew U until July) I'm feeling much better about things. It's been a really long and slow year. As I just told my friend who's making aliyah in a year-- the paperwork is the easy part. It's the packing the month before and the rest of your life after that that's the hard part. But I'm looking forward to toughing it out.

Once again, here is one of the top reasons I am here